Intention and capacity are not the same.
In moments of stability, someone may genuinely want to follow through. But stress, shame, triggers, or nervous system overload can override intention quickly.
Broken promises are painful and erode trust. They do not automatically mean a lack of care. Often, they signal instability.
Understanding this does not mean tolerating harmful behavior. It means recognizing that change requires building capacity, not just desire. Capacity grows with regulation, structure, support, and repetition.
If this applies right now, separate behavior from identity, hold your boundary calmly and consistently, and avoid global language like “you always” or “you never.”